Lost

 

I feel like my grammar isn’t top notch, and that makes blogging a very nerve-racking experience.

I honestly feel so incredibly lost. I feel like everyone around has just got their crap together, even if they actually don’t. I just feel like i’m going through the motions, and that my life is meaningless. I get my my assignments done with excellency, but I can’t carry a decent conversation because i’m bedridden with anxiety. Like what the world. I can’t live like this. I want to become better but I don’t know how. I have good days where I feel like i’m doing something right, but then night comes and I am reminded that I completely and utterly lost.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I don’t mind being a bit lost, but it kills me to feel so alone.

I have friends and family, but I feel like everyone already has this image of who I am. But I’m not that girl. That isn’t me anymore, I don’t know where she went. Maybe I took a wrong turn somewhere, and I forgot that I could just turn around whenever I wanted to. Now I feel so far gone in the wrong direction, I feel hopeless.

People say you can just choose happiness. Just make it an effort in your mind to be happy. Fight off your demons. But i’ve made friends with my demons.

*sigh*

This is hard.